3 Tips for a Socially Healthy Holiday

Plus, a gift for you to celebrate my book's 6-month birthday!

Before we get into the three tips below, we’ve got something to celebrate—and I’ve got a gift for you!

Yesterday marked six months since The Art and Science of Connection—the first book dedicated to the idea and practice of “social health”—came out. Six surreal, fulfilling, whirlwind months 🎉

I wrote this book to share what I’ve learned from over a decade of exploring this topic, because my North Star is spreading social health. I envision a future where social health is as well-known a concept as mental health, where we have the infrastructure and support in our society to build fulfilling relationships, and where we all thrive through meaningful connection and community.

With that North Star in mind, I’m overjoyed by the book’s reach so far, including being featured in The New York Times, Forbes, The Guardian, Fortune, Business Insider, Fast Company, STAT, CNBC, and many other media outlets, podcasts, and TV shows.

I’m also honored by the opportunities I’ve had to share messages from the book at venues like Google, TED, Big Think, and Aspen Ideas—messages I hope resonate and make a difference in people’s lives.

But the best part of the past six months? You. Together, we are part of a rapidly growing movement of people around the globe, from diverse walks of life, who care about social health in our personal lives, in our communities, and in our jobs. Connecting with thousands of you at events and online this year has inspired me and filled me with optimism.

I’m grateful to be working toward that North Star with you.

kasleykillam

A post shared by @kasleykillam

Do you want your copy signed and personalized?

As a token of my appreciation, I’m offering limited edition bookplates to newsletter subscribers. Bookplates are stickered labels that go inside the cover, which I’ll sign and personalize for you. I only have a limited quantity, so act quickly!

Here’s how to get one:

1. Leave a review on Amazon.

2. Send me a screenshot of your review and your mailing address. Just hit ‘reply’ to my newsletter in your inbox.

3. Keep an eye out for your bookplate to arrive in the mail! 📫

By the way, if you’re considering gifting The Art and Science of Connection this holiday, and/or if you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, it’s currently 37% off on Amazon—so now’s the perfect time to buy 😊

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How to have a socially healthy holiday

Here are three research-backed and Kasley-tested tips, drawing inspiration from passages in my book.

1. Give the Present of Your Presence

“Research shows that time and intimacy have a linear correlation: the more time you spend with someone, the closer you become.” (pg. 120)

While that’s true, how we spend our time together matters more than how much. It’s easy to get distracted by our phones, lulled by the temptation of binge-watching The Great British Baking Show (just me?), or anxious about finding the perfect present for that special someone.

But the most meaningful present you can give others is your presence, your attention, your love. When you’re with your family, friends, neighbors, or coworkers over the next couple of weeks, be present. Listen to what they say. Ask deeper questions. Compliment them and express gratitude. Savor your time together.

2. Volunteer to Bring Cheer (to You and Others)

“Through volunteering, my mom became part of a community of people who love being active outdoors as she does—and made new friends who have become close in the years since.” (pg. 121)

This season can feel solitary. But there’s a powerful way to ward off loneliness, connect with others, and feel part of your community, even if you’re alone: volunteer. Whether serving meals at a shelter or visiting the elderly in care homes, volunteering brings joy to both the giver and the receiver—and studies show that it can measurably reduce loneliness.

Plus, service to others offers a renewed perspective. It shifts the focus from what might be missing to what can be given, reminding us that our lives have purpose. Search for opportunities near you on VolunteerMatch or the Weaver Network.

3. Alongside Career Goals, Set Connection Goals for 2025

“What social health milestones do you hope to reach? Maybe you want to commit to a romantic partner, make three new good friends, become closer with someone in your family, or be part of a local group that meets at least once a month. Whatever you choose, approach these in the same way that you would go about reaching your career goals. Make them a priority.” (pg. 109-110)

If we brought the same thought and energy to our relationships as we do our jobs, we’d all be better off. Over the next couple weeks, set aside some time to reflect on how you will be intentional about your social health in the new year.

Just like it takes regular exercise to develop strong physical muscles, it takes regular connection to develop strong social muscles. I invite you to use The Art and Science of Connection as your guide in 2025 to help you Stretch, Rest, Tone, or Flex your social muscles according to whether you are a Butterfly, Wallflower, Firefly, or Evergreen.