A Workout for Your Social Muscles
Where do you go to learn the skills of meaningful connection?
In the last newsletter, we explored the importance of designing physical places where we can gather with friends, family, and community. But building those shared spaces is just the start. Then we need to use them in ways that actually connect people.
To that end, I’m intrigued by the emerging trend of what I describe in my forthcoming book as social fitness gyms—places where you can learn and practice the skills needed to form and maintain meaningful relationships.
Consider this: If you want to get physically stronger, you can sign up for a workout class at a recreation center or hire a personal trainer to help you exercise more effectively. Since the research shows that connection is as important as exercise for our health and longevity, it would make sense to have dedicated places and programming for strengthening our social muscles, too.
But where are they? If you want to learn to connect better, where can you go?
The Wall Street Journal recently spotlighted examples of new social fitness gyms that aim to fill this gap, including a “modern community center” called Peoplehood that offers classes on relationship-building skills. On April 13 I’ll be speaking on a panel with Peoplehood’s co-founder, Julie Rice, who previously co-founded the popular indoor cycling company SoulCycle.
🎟️ If you’re in NYC and want to hear Julie and me talk in person on April 13, register for HealthCon here with the code “kasley10” for 10% off your ticket.
Of course, another way to leverage shared spaces to foster connection is through traditional community building. At Social Health Labs, we’ve funded 25+ community builders in neighborhoods across the US to improve social health locally. They’ve done so in creative and inspiring ways, from intergenerational bonding over butterfly habitats to grief support groups for mothers in high-violence areas.
Community building is also important in digital spaces and workplaces, given how much time we spend connecting online and at work. For instance, loneliness at work costs the US economy an estimated $406 billion in lost productivity each year. I’ll be speaking to an audience of community builders in technology and other industries later this month in Silicon Valley, and you’re invited!
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🎟️ To attend the CMX Summit on April 25-26 either in person or virtually, register here with the code “kasley25” for 25% off your ticket.
I’d love to know your thoughts: Where do you go to exercise your social muscles? Do we need social fitness gyms to help us train in connection? And what’s an example of community building in a shared space that you’ve been part of? Feel free to hit “reply” to let me know by email or leave a comment on the post.
Further Reading
To learn relational skills without leaving your house, check out these new books:
How to Know a Person by David Brooks
Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg
The Art and Science of Connection by yours truly 😉
If the growing industry around our fundamental need for connection interests you (or maybe repels you), you might enjoy these recent articles:
New York Times: Why Are More Private Clubs Popping Up in New York?
Fast Company: This Year’s Hottest Wellness Trend? Community
Substack: Why Startups Will Not “Solve” Loneliness
Exciting News
My book is officially at the printer being printed! We’re one step closer to it being in your hands and in bookstores everywhere.
Pre-order yours now so you get it as soon as it comes out on June 18. And if your organization might be interested in having me as a guest speaker and ordering copies for your employees or customers, get in touch. The next couple months are almost fully booked!
"Social Fitness Gym" immediately brought a smile to my face, and a longing to my heart - yes!! We are working on building these at VillageCo.org - we also call them places of practice. Need more local connection in our lives! Thanks for raising this issue & supporting the many Social Connectors creating these gyms all around the country!
Working at a coworking space has been tremendously helpful for my social health. So many organic opportunities to get to know folks in my community, both personally and professionally!